Life's like that
by Rei Bianca
Summary: What happen when Sanzo agrees to babysit Lirin for Kougaiji? Destruction, catastrophy, or both. chap3&4 added.
1. The sutra

Chapter 2: My Darling Sutra.  
  
After the building colaspe, Sanzo and the rest of the gang had to pay for the reconstruction. As they were busy counting the money needed, Hakkai noticed that Sanzo didn't have his sutra on.  
  
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sanzo: HOW the hell did she gets it ?? WHEN ??!! *pacing back and forth*  
  
Hakkai: Yare yare... You have to calm down, Sanzo-sama. Try smoking.  
  
Sanzo: ....can't.  
  
Hakkai: Ah?? When did you decide to stop? Congratulations!  
  
Gojyo: Ah! What did the doctor say? Was it lung cancer or bronchit...  
  
TCHING!  
  
Sanzo: *points gun at Gojyo's head* SHUT UP if you don't have anything NICE to say! I ran out of cigarattes.  
  
Gojyo: Want mine?  
  
Sanzo: No.  
  
Gojyo: Why not?  
  
Sanzo: Because yours has no class. *walks away*  
  
Gojyo: Fine. Sheesh~~~ Choosy man.  
  
Goku: I want one!!  
  
TWACK  
  
Goku: aa...What's that for, Sanzo-sama?!  
  
TWACK TWACK  
  
Sanzo: Do you want to die early, saru?  
  
Goku: But you..  
  
Sanzo: How old am I and how old are you?  
  
Goku: Aaa...about 500 years old.  
  
Sanzo: Tc'!  
  
Gojyo: Wow, you'ved just lost! Hive five, Goku!  
  
TWACK TWACK  
  
Sanzo: *held up a flaming fan* ONE more words and I swear I'll exterminate both of you myself!  
  
Hakkai: *sweatdrops* aya..ya.. oh well. Ja, let's look for a place to stay tonight.  
  
Goku: Pork buns!!!  
  
Gojyo: Beer.  
  
Sanzo: Let's look for a place to buy cigarettes.  
  
Goku: I want one!  
  
TWACK  
  
Hakkai: Yare yare..here we go again....  
  
Well, we live them alone for a while. Meanwhile, Lirin was busy playing with her newly found treasure when a group of bandits from nowhere snatched it from her. Ah, poor her. Hahahaha!!! I love a good laugh. Wahahahahah!! *TWACK* get back to the story will ya! Miaw! Who the hell are you?!! *points gun* aa..So Lirin went back to see her brother at the fort's laboratory.  
  
Lirin: *sniff* gomene, niichan! Sorry....  
  
Kougaiji: What for?  
  
Lirin: I actually got a birthday present for you.  
  
Kougaiji: That's nice.  
  
Lirin: But I lost it...  
  
Kougaiji: Oh, that's ok. What was it?  
  
Lirin: ...Sanzo's sutra....  
  
Kougaiji: That's o......WHAT??! You lost WHAT? *falls from chair*  
  
Lirin: B..but I didn't actually lost it.  
  
Kougaiji: *regains from shock* Where is it then?  
  
Lirin: Stolen.  
  
Kougaiji: Sto...len?  
  
At that moment, Dokugaku and Yaonne enter the laboratory. Soon, the news of the stolen treasure, which is the evil sutra that belongs to Sanzo spread all around the fort like wild mushrooms growing after heavy rain.  
  
Some luck. So the plan to go to the west was interupted. We leave them alone first so that they could discuss their plans to get the sutra back. Chapter 3 will up soon.Miaw! 


	2. The plan

Miow!! I'm back with...  
  
Chapter3: The plan.  
  
Ah, so we return to Sanzo's party to see what's going on. Apparently, things had gone bad for Sanzo these few days and he was about to go nuts.  
  
Hakkai: Sanzo....  
  
SPING! PONG! CHIANG! PIANG!  
  
Sanzo: *raising another cymbal and tossing it around like a flying saucer* AHAHAHA!!! I never had so much fun in my life before! This is SO much fun!  
  
Gojyo: Aih!! *evades incoming plate* Hei, watch out! What's gotten into you?!  
  
Goku: Sanzo-sama, calm down!  
  
Sanzo: ...Ah, you're right. *grabs more plates and pans*  
  
Hakkai: Put that down, please. Look, we'll think of something, okay?  
  
Gojyo: *grabs Sanzo and sits him down* There. Relax man! Cool down. Here, have some beer.  
  
Hakkai: *sweatdrops* Obviously, we can't continue our journey without the Sutra. Do you have any plans, Goku?  
  
Goku: Nope.  
  
Hakkai: That's too bad.  
  
Gojyo: *pushes Hakkai aside* Are you sure? Did you know that Sanzo's credit card is only going to be filled if we manage to get to the next city in time? So, looks like we wasted out of money here and no more food till next city.  
  
Goku: Ah! Wait! I've got a plan! *whisper, whisper*  
  
After a few minutes...  
  
Gojyo: That's the WORST plan I'ved ever hear in my life. Who's going to do it? You?  
  
Hakkai: Yeah. Since it's your plan, you do it. Besides, you're her 'closest' friend.  
  
Gojyo + Hakkai: *Stares at Goku*  
  
Goku: Me..?! ....A...ok....In the name of food.  
  
Gojyo: There, That's the spirit.*patting Goku's back* I'll help you.  
  
And so, we leave them again. Let's visit Lirin and see how she handles her own little problem. Explaining time.  
  
Kougaiji: *walks back and forth in the laboratory* How could you? How could you let such a priceless stuff STOLEN?!  
  
Lirin: I didn't know.*sniff*  
  
Yaonne: Kou-sama, don't be rough to Lirin...  
  
Kougaiji: *take a deep breath* Oh, well. What did they look like?  
  
Dokugaku: You said they were three, right?  
  
Lirin: Yup! One wore a black patch covering his left eye, the other one was wearing white and the third person...didn't really see.  
  
Yaonne: That's enough. You can go clean yourself up for dinner.  
  
Lirin: Yay! Food! *running out*  
  
Kougaiji: Hm..Heard that before.  
  
Yaonne: Obvious isn't it? She's your sister.  
  
Kougaiji: Not that. The description..  
  
Meanwhile, as Lirin was about to get dress for dinner, she heard a strange sound from beneath her window. Looking out, she saw...  
  
Lirin, Lirin, Where art thou be, I've been searching high and low Over mountains and vast terrains Only to find you up in that tower.  
  
Goku: Can't believe I'm doing this.. Lirin, why don't you come down here. I....I....What to say, what to say..I brought you your favourite.Duh! So lame..  
  
Lirin: Masaka! Goku, have you lost your sences or someone poisoned you?!  
  
Goku: Easy, easy, steady, stay calm... I'm serious! It has been a long time since we..Um.. Talk....peacefully.  
  
Lirin: *sweatdrops* Ai, he is sick. Wait a sec!  
  
Thirty minutes later...  
  
Lirin: Well,...I'm here. So talk.  
  
Goku: I'll swear I'll kill Gojyo after this! Emh.. How's your brother?  
  
Lirin: Huh?! You came all the way just to ask about my brother?  
  
Goku: After Gojyo, I'll kill you. Uh.. Um.. Damn! DIE!!! DIE!!! *grabs Lirin and smash her to the ground*  
  
Soon, a sries of kicking, slapping and explosions begins. Destoying anything in their path, they fought each other. They were so loud that Kougaiji who was in the inner part of the tower rushed out to see what happen.  
  
Lirin: AHAHAHA!!! You're such a hopeless Romeo! *Let's out a fireball*  
  
Goku: *evades and dashed towards Lirin* Evil girl!! No wonder you don't own a boyfriend! *kicks Lirin*  
  
Lirin: Well, at least I have a life! *slashes Goku*  
  
From far, Gojyo, Sanzo and Hakkai looked at the fight in disbelief. They ran out of their hiding place to stop the two of them.  
  
Sanzo: Tch'! Whose idea was this?  
  
Hakkai: Goku and Gojy...  
  
Gojyo: Hei! There's nothing wrong with the poem! Sanzo, watch out!! *pushes Sanzo aside as a large ball of fire passed them*  
  
Goku: Muahahahaha!!! Got you! *chocking Lirin from behind* Where's the sutra?  
  
Lirin: ..emh..!! *struggles*  
  
Goku: Speak up!! *chokes harder*  
  
Lirin: .mm..emh!! *struggles more*  
  
Kougaiji: Goku!! Let her go!  
  
Sanzo: KONO BAKA SARU!!! *TWACK TWACK*  
  
Goku: aa..what's that for, Sanzo-sama?!  
  
Sanzo: She can't breath, saru!  
  
Goku: Ark!! Gomen, gomen! *let's Lirin go*  
  
Kougaiji: Hei, what's the big idea?!  
  
Gojyo: We came for the Sutra. Surrender it now or prepare to die.  
  
Kougaiji: We would give it back, if we even have it.  
  
Hakkai: Ei? Isn't it supposed to be with you people?  
  
Lirin: IT'S STOLEN!!! *shouts out loud* STOLEN! STOLEN! STOLEN! Which part of my words that you don't understand?!!  
  
Hakkai: ............  
  
Sanzo: .............  
  
Gojyo: ............  
  
Goku: Uh...the stolen part.  
  
The sutra was stolen. Well, it isn't so bad ne, Sanzo-sama? TWACK aw!! At last Sanzo and Kougaiji's party join forces to recover the stolen sutra. I'm sure they'll manage. 


	3. Rescue me!

Chapter 4: Rescue.  
  
Somewhere, in the middle of the forest not far from the East City, stood a tall temple. It stood so tall almost touching the heavens above. Up in the tallest floor...  
  
Homura: Tell me again, how did you get the sutra that easily?  
  
Shien: I stole it.  
  
Homura: From who?  
  
Zeon: A kid.  
  
Homura: ........a......kid.....?! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *laughs out loud till falls from chair* Oof!  
  
Zeon: But it's true.  
  
Homura: Yeah right! I saw the aliens last night.  
  
Shien: ......he is sick.. poor guy.  
  
Homura: *regains consious* Ah well. At least the sutra is original even if your story seemed a little hard to except. Let's start the ritual.  
  
Soon....  
  
Peppermints and toffee-balls, Candies pink and green, Barley sugar and chocolate, Best you've ever...  
  
Homura: .........?! What the hell are you reading?!  
  
Zeon: AH!! Gomenasai! This is my mom's recipe book.  
  
Shien: Yare yare..  
  
*sweatdrops* Ok, soon.......  
  
Deep from below the grounds of hell, To the soaring heavens above, Let there be light upon light, And darkness upon darkness, Emerges from the depths of the earth, Grant me my only wish.  
  
After reciting the incantations, the pentagrams on the floor which had been drawn earlier starts to glow.  
  
Homura: Yes, soon my dreams will come true!! Muahahaha..  
  
Goku+Lirin: STOP!!  
  
Homura: eh?!  
  
Three hours ago...  
  
Lirin: It was stolen by a patched eye man!  
  
Goku: You have got to be kidding.  
  
Gojyo: What does a guy like him wants to do with the sutra.  
  
Sanzo: If I'm not mistaken, his leader is Homura, the fighting god.  
  
Kougaiji: Homura...? He... He stole something from me, a week ago.  
  
Hakkai: What could he possibly steal from you?  
  
Kougaiji: ..my pride.  
  
Gojyo: Ooh, so the bad guy was destroyed by the bad guy, ei? Sounds bizzare.  
  
Yaonne: What are we going to do?  
  
Sanzo: Let's team up for awhile.  
  
Kougaiji: Huh?  
  
Sanzo: Don't you want to get your pride back?  
  
Kougaiji: Well, whatever.  
  
Goku: Since when does your brother gets along with Sanzo, anyway?  
  
Lirin: Don't know.  
  
Gojyo: Since when do you two get along pretty well?  
  
Goku+Lirin: Urusai!!! *blush*  
  
Back at the temple...  
  
Homura: So you two little twerps return.  
  
Lirin: Give back my stuff.  
  
Goku: Return the sutra!!  
  
Kougaiji: I want my pride back.  
  
Sanzo: ...  
  
Zeon: What's all this?!  
  
Hakkai: *punches Zeon* I'll fight you!  
  
Gojyo: You're mine!! *pulls Shien*  
  
Soon the temple was filled with fireballs ruckus and the smell of blood everywhere. For pete's sake, can you people stop fighting?!! Miow!! Move! miaw! My tail....  
  
Kougaiji: *chanting*  
  
Sanzo: *shoots Homura*  
  
Lirin: *running around*  
  
Goku: *grabs sutra which had fallen from nowhere*  
  
After a few desparate hours of fighting...  
  
Yaonne: STOP IT!! This is going nowhere! HEI! Hei director!! Are you there?!!  
  
Kitty: Miaw!! My tail...oh Yaonne. What's up?  
  
Yaonne: Aren't you going to end this?  
  
Kitty:: ...nope. I'm begining to like this.  
  
Yaonne: You're so evil.  
  
Homura: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Argh...  
  
Yaonne: Homura! Are you ok?!  
  
Homura: Heart...problem..can't breath...  
  
Goku: Help! Get the ambulance.  
  
Sanzo: Hang on!  
  
Kitty: Cut! CUT!!  
  
Gojyo: You know what Hakkai, I think that it was all that cat's fault.  
  
Hakkai: You're right. *eying cat*  
  
Kitty: A...aha..ha..guys..why are you looking at me..like that..?  
  
Gojyo+Hakkai+Goku+Sanzo: You and you STUPID ideas!!! DIE! DIE!!  
  
Kittyt: MIOW!!!  
  
And so it ends. The moral of this story is.... I don't know but I lost my tail... Miowwww!! STOP THAT CAT!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!  
  
Lirin: Ne niichan, did you get your pride back?  
  
Kougaiji: ...Nope, but I think this is far from over.  
  
DIE EVIL NEKO!!! aih!!!~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
